“I’m so glad it’s Saturday,” said no church worker ever. Saturday is like Monday to those of us in church work. But today I am glad it’s Saturday because it means this week is over, and I survived. This has not been a stellar week for me as a parent. Or as a wife. Or as a person.
My daughter, who is two, has been sick since Monday, and it has been awful. She has been just miserable. She has felt miserable, and there’s not much we could do to help her feel better. That’s one of the worst feelings as a parent- helplessness. To not be able to help your child feel better feels terrible. On top of that, she has been grouchy, super grouchy. She doesn’t know why she feels so bad- she just knows she doesn’t like it. And, boy, she has been letting us know.
My son, who is three, has been neglected since Monday, and that stinks. Because my daughter has required so much of our attention, my husband and I have not been able to parent my son the way he needs. He needs a lot of connection, special time and roughhousing. He hasn’t gotten it this week, and we’ve seen the results. He has been a little wild man at home and at school. I live and die by the smiley-face on his daily report from preschool- sometimes I wish he did too.
But in reality I wish I didn’t- it’s amazing to me how deeply affected I am by how my children are doing, health-wise or behavior-wise. Their physical and emotional health does affect me. Sometimes I allow those things to define me as a mom. As a wife. As a person. I wish I had been kinder, more patient, more flexible, more helpful, more thoughtful to my husband this week. I hate that. Can I do better? Of course. Could I have done better this week? I’m not sure.
So it hasn’t been a stellar week for me. Have you ever had one of those weeks? Maybe you’re in a week, or a month, or a season like that right now, where it doesn’t feel like you can do anything right. Will you hold onto it and allow it to define you? That used to be what I’d do, but I’m learning a different way. A better way. My family is teaching me (well, God is teaching me through them) to let go of an awful week and not to let it define me. I loved my family this week, and sometimes that’s just enough.